Can you identify who does you good?

They say friends are the family we choose. But do we always know how to choose them well? Our close friends share with us several important moments in life and follow our path closely, always giving us support, helping us to grow and to progress. However, sometimes some people who are part of our life – and whom we call friends – do not always bring us good vibes. Can you identify who really makes you feel good? With the help of a therapist, it is much easier to identify which relationships are in fact being positive and which are ending our self-esteem and leaving us pessimistic or stressed, for example.

Evaluating the friendships we have is an important process to improve the quality of our relationships. Some of these relationships come and are kept very easily, but others seem to require a lot of effort on our part so we can keep the person in our life.

In these cases, it is necessary to analyse: to what extent is it worth investing your time and your energy in this type of relationship? To determine the extent of your involvement with someone and to know if the relationship is beneficial to both parties, you need to ask yourself a few things such as:

Sometimes one party invests much less than the other, has little enthusiasm and almost no focus on maintaining the friendship, which creates an imbalance and indicates lack of interest. This is not to say that to make a friendship last, it is necessary to maintain daily contact, but it indicates that the two people need to worry about staying in touch, even if eventually, in a balanced way.

For a friendship to work well and be very beneficial to both parties, it is essential to feel comfortable to be who you really are, to feel that the other party does not criticize us, does not judge and does not condemn us for our actions, even if you do not agree with them. It is also important to always be honest, to give opinions and advice when you disagree with some attitude, but without judging or harming the relationship because the other did not act as you expected. A real friend does not try to change the other, but accepts him/her as he/she is and embraces the differences.

A great friend will never, in any case, do anything with the intention of pulling us down, discouraging us or making us believe that we can not do something. A worthwhile friendship must give support, help us grow, be based on understanding. This does not mean accepting anything we decide to do, but knowing that once we have received constructive criticism, it is up to us to make the final decision.

If a friendship no longer makes us feel good, if that same friendship with time and coexistence becomes toxic, if a friend asks much more of us than he gives, if harmony does not exist in the relationship, it is time to rethink whether or not it’s worth keeping this person in our life.

We need to choose carefully the people we keep in our lives. However, giving up some ties is a difficult decision. After all, some friendships are very long lasting and result from years of coexistence. Knowing how much it is worth investing in and betting on them can be a daunting task.

A good way to reevaluate not just the friendships, but all the points of your emotional and mental life is through therapy. A therapist is able to show you ways to see your lives under different perspectives, so that you can learn to identify what is wrong in your daily life, in your coexistence, and make arrangements so that you can live with more harmony.

If you are looking for a therapist, contact me.

Wishing you health and happiness,