How to help a loved one that has depression

Have you ever been depressed? Those who have had it do not forget.

Basic tasks become complicated, impossible to complete. Even brushing your teeth can be like a marathon. Sunlight is offensive. Rainy days are still worse.

When I was in my teenager years I had a friend that suffered terribly with depression. It hurts the heart just to witness. At first, everything inside me wanted to drag her out of her house into a world of light, sun and happiness. Maybe she would feel better if, well … she just tried? I talked to her about how beautiful life is. I reminded her of how blessed she is.

As if that could help!

I was not being helpful. In fact, I was being ignorant.

Depression is not rooted in laziness or ingratitude.

And although my ideas were not intentionally bad – I realised that I was trying to make myself feel better about her depression. I talked to my friend. I asked bluntly: What to do to help someone with depression? What helps?

Together, we discuss her feelings. Her perspective. Her pain. And then we worked on a few things that really helped me be a best friend. And so today I would like to share this with you.

If you have a friend, a loved one with depression you can do these things:

1. Ask and realize.

First of all – ask your friend: What is it overloading her/him now?

Is she/he tired? Are the dishes in the sink making her/him feel like an impossible task? Maybe the clothes stacked up to the ceiling made her/him want to hide in the bed.

Help your friend in every way that you can. Do it. If she/him have a baby hold her/his baby so she/he can shower and sleep. Wash her/his dishes. Fold her/his clothes. It’s amazing what little things can do for a person who feels overwhelmed.

2. Understand that depression is a mental and physical illness.

A number of “invisible” illnesses are caused by brain chemical imbalances. You would not tell a friend with a broken leg “just walk out there.”

Likewise, your suffering friend can’t make the pain disappear. Be kind. Be patient. Your friend is ill with legitimate pain and needs support.

3. Offer your presence without expectations.

Sometimes doing little things can make a huge difference. Find out how things are with a phone call. Give your friend a hug. Volunteer to take care of her/his baby or children.

But do these things, with no strings attached. Without expectations. Your friend’s mood may not be visible when you are with that person, but that doesn’t mean that you are not helping. Remember that sadness is your friend’s illness.

4. Observe – and commemorate – small efforts.

Will she/he leave the house? Is her/his hair all right? Could she/he do something complicated?

This may sound like common sense but say so! Small encouragements are good when someone is struggling with depression.

5. Know your limits

Your friend has depression that deserves professional intervention. You can’t be her/his doctor, so do not try. Suggesting ways in which the person with depression could “feel better” is really a bad idea unless they ask. What you can and should do is give a hug, be a shoulder to cry and a hand to reach, something that is extremely necessary.

Depression is difficult. Not only for the people that have depression but for their loved ones as well. But you as a friend have a powerful opportunity. You can bring some sunshine to someone that is trapped in the rain with depression, and that… That’s a beautiful thing.

You can recommend your friend to reach professional help.

In hypnotherapy we seek the source that unleashed what is behind our client’s depression. We look for the first drop that was placed in the bucket. The cause of everything is usually but not always an event that happened in childhood.

As soon as this causative reason is discovered, understood and neutralised, there is no longer any reason for the mind and / or body to function unbalanced. Then brain chemistry begins to regulate, hormones begin to return to normal, all naturally. And ​​if the body can change alone the organic and physiological functioning the first time, why could not switch back to the normal state?

It is important to say that we hypnotherapists work with the client on a deeper level with her/his mind. Seeking the natural self-healing ability of their own body and finding the root of the problem.

If you have any question or queries do not hesitate to get in touch with me.

Wishing you health and happiness,

Suzy Teixeira