Believe it or not, it is not only possible, but quite common for someone to consciously convince themselves that they want change in their life, but subconsciously put all their effort into keeping everything exactly the same as it is right now.
They even go through all the motions of starting a new project, enlist help, buying software, having a website built, creating all kinds of marketing text and tools, only to consistently find some insurmountable challenge when it gets close to a start date that prevents them from following through.
Why would anyone do that?
Fear is the prime reason that most people don’t follow through.
Fear of what?
- Fear of success
- Fear of failure
- Fear of what others might think, say, or do
- Or all of the above
They are unhappy, unmotivated, and unfulfilled. They know exactly what they need to do, but never manage to get it done. They are often solitary individuals who have lots of friends and contacts, but, in reality, they live their life almost entirely in their own heads.
This vicious circle of starting and then stopping, over and over again, can cause them to have low confidence, low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression, which reinforces their overwhelming desire to keep everything the same, no matter how good a new future might look.
Does this scenario describe you? If so, what can you do about it?
Is There a Solution?
One of the best ways to break this pattern is to help someone less fortunate than yourself. Perhaps try charitable work or something similar, where people depend on your help, energy, and support, and you know it.
In this charitable work, consider how you have responsibility to others where you cannot possibly let down those who depend on you. That way, you are not working for your own personal rewards, but for someone who cannot possibly fulfill their ambitions on their own.
The feeling you get from helping others is so strong, so compelling, that your personal anxiety diminishes and your self-esteem rises in direct proportion to each other.
You’ll enjoy strong feelings of accomplishment and, in turn, fulfillment. You’ll find yourself in a place of happiness that you’ve never experienced before, and you really like it.
Make a Decision and Take Action
Through practical experience, you’ll come to realize that when you make a decision and take action, you move forward. You’ll recognize that you only have one life, and you can live it best and most fully by making decisions and taking action.
You’ll also acknowledge that doing things for someone else allows you to fully engage your talents in a way that you could never have experienced while just working for yourself.
When you find purpose in all that you do, you will also realize that the fear evaporated long ago, and now you can actually feel a sense of pride in your work that was never there before.
Through helping others, you’ll come to understand that it doesn’t even matter if you make a wrong decision or take a wrong action. You can always make another decision and take another action and correct it.
The most important thing is that you keep making decisions and taking action. It’s the only way to effect change in anything.
The biggest changes will be the ones you experience yourself, but it may still take others to point them out. You are so talented, and you have no idea how gifted you really are, until you see other peoples’ lives improved because of your actions.
That’s when you’ll get to see your true, authentic self show up in your smile as you look forward to finally being able to start creating the future you desire.
Professional Clinical Hypnotherapist, Psychotherapist and Counselor